Heart, and Seoul

Wow. Seoul, you changed me. Or at least, changed the path I thought I was on for the rest of this trip.

The view from my hotel room on the 87th floor of the tallest building in this country was beautiful and amazing… but also? Just confirmed that I’m not a city girl. Sometimes I think I want to be. I like the idea of it—bright lights, the energy, endless options for food, shopping, nightlife. But when I’m in the middle of it? I feel… off. It’s overstimulating. Crowded. Loud. And the truth is, I don’t really like people that much.

And there was just… so much. So many buildings. So much smog. So little nature. It all felt heavy, like the air had weight. (Which, let’s be honest, it kind of did.)

Quick appreciation for the one stranger—not paid to interact with me—who actually did. This sweet older woman started talking with me while we were waiting for the elevator at the Seoul subway transfer station, then just kind of took me under her wing. Walked with me to the next subway, made sure I got off at the right stop, then walked me to and pointed out my exit (even though she did not exit the same way). You, lady, are a total gem. I wanted to hug you.

Land me in a city of 10 million+ and yeah, I’m out of my element. I end up watching from windows while the world goes by. And when I do go out, I feel like I don’t quite fit. Which makes me laugh, because that’s what I do when I’m uncomfortable. Not the cute kind of laugh either—more like the awkward, “I have no idea what I’m doing” kind. It’s a thing.

Heart, for my son Gavin.

This trip started because I wanted to visit him while he’s temporarily stationed here. It’s evolved since then, but that was the reason I came—and I’m so glad I did.

We stayed in the fanciest hotel, wandered a the giant mall, went to the aquarium, had some good ole’ American food at Gordon Ramsay Burger (I’ve never been given plastic gloves to eat a burger before—but okay, I’ll roll with it), and ordered ridiculously fancy, totally average room service.

Halfway through the weekend, preplanned, we switched hotels to a younger, livelier part of the city—one he actually comes down from base to hang out in. I didn’t know this before booking it, and it was so fun to let him show me around. We walked the “Red Road” in Hongdae, drank mimosas, went shopping in Gangnam, hiked up Namsan and took in the view from the top of N Seoul Tower.

Spending time with your adult kid is wild. He’s still my kid, but it just hit different. I’m really proud of him—he’s figuring things out, even though the Army isn’t exactly his dream gig, and he’s been thinking a lot about what comes next. Definitely one for the memory books.

And now, I’m changing the last third of my trip. What I had planned doesn’t feel right anymore. The energy, the crowds, the noise—it’s not really me.

More quiet. Less chaos. Let’s see where that takes me.